1. Impact Play
Impact play means spanking, flogging, paddling, and other forms of consensual striking. Spanking is often an easy and safe BDSM entry point that leads to exploring more, such as purchasing a crop to use with a partner. Impact play can range from a light slap on the bum to a crack of the whip.
You don’t have to stop playing make-believe when you grow up. Role-playing means acting out a sexual fantasy with your partner(s), either once or as part of an ongoing fantasy. While it can be a fetish or kink within itself, it’s also a healthy way to act out other fantasies. For instance, if you have a medical fantasy, and are aroused by doctors, you probably don’t actually want your doctor to get sexy with you because that would be creepy and abusive. The beauty of role-playing is that you can have your partner dress up as a doctor and indulge your fantasy consensually in your own home.
3. Foot Fetish
A foot fetish involves a desire to worship feet through acts such as massage, kissing, and smelling. If your partner shares that they have a foot fetish, it may be initially jarring, but it’s an opportunity for you to discuss a potentially exciting new part of your sex life together. (And, if you’re into it, just think of all the foot massages headed your way!)
4. Anal Sex
You don’t need to have an anal fetish to engage in anal sex, but plenty of people of people do specifically get off on butt stuff. Anal play can range from adding a finger in the ass during penetrative vaginal sex to using butt plugs to having anal sex with a penis or a dildo. In a recent study, 37 percent of women and 43 percent of men said they had engaged in anal sex (in which women received and men gave).
One of the most common fetishes centers on something that may be sitting inside your dresser right now: lingerie. This may show up in sexual play between and among individuals who may not even consider themselves kinky or to have a fetish (or two or three). Again, while many people get aroused by sexy underwear, lingerie becomes a fetish when someone needs it to be present in a sexual scenario in order to fully engage or get off. A common lingerie fetish involves stockings, a fetish that can overlap with a love of feet. Lingerie is an example of the lesser-used definition of a fetish: an attraction to an object.
6. Group Sex
Group sex is getting it on with more than one person. If you’ve ever swiped on Tinder, you’re likely aware that many couples are searching for a third, although group sex can mean more than just a threesome. An orgy is when a group of people of all genders have sex, while a gangbang typically refers to one person having sex with more than two members of another gender (while the term has past violent connotations, it’s used in the kink community to refer to consensual scenarios). The most talked-about type of gangbang is a woman being penetrated by multiple penises. However, men can be gangbanged by multiple women, while with strap-ons, anyone can play out a penetrative gangbang. If you have a group sex fetish or kink but realistically only want to have sex with one other person, try using porn, dirty talk, or role-playing with the use of sex toys to explore within your current relationship.
7. Sensation Play
Sensation play can refer to a huge range of activities based on the receiving or withholding of different stimuli. For instance, one partner may blindfold the other to deprive them of their sense of sight, a form of sensory deprivation, or they may drag an ice cube along their skin, a form of sensation play known as temperature play. When it comes to giving sensation, think of everything from tickling a partner with your hands or a feather to biting them. Impact play is sometimes placed under the category of sensation play.
8. Orgasm Control
Orgasm control is part of BDSM, as it involves an element of dominance and submission. Edging, in which the submissive partner is brought to the brink of climax and then forced to stop — often done repeatedly — is an example of orgasm control. The idea here is that for as long as you like, you let your partner take the reins and determine when and how you come. As with all of the activities here, anyone can engage in orgasm control regardless of their genitalia.
Bondage is when one partner restrains the other. It’s usually a form of dominance and submission and falls under the BDSM umbrella. You can bind your partner using objects you already have around, such as a belt, or purchase specialty kink items like handcuffs. To engage in restraint play safely, establish boundaries and a safe word, emphasize consent and communication at every step, and start slow. (And take care not to cut off anyone’s circulation!)
10. Psychological Play
While physical actions, such as spanking, are often the most discussed kinks and fetishes, some of the most intense sexual play takes place in the mind. Psychological play involves implementing a sexual power exchange: Humiliation play, for example, might involve a submissive partner getting off on being called names. Consensual threats are an example of psychological play; one example is a domme warning a male submissive with a foot fetish that he’ll have to lick her feet if he doesn’t fall in line and do exactly as she says.
A study on fetishes published in the Journal of Sex Research found voyeurism — or obtaining sexual pleasure from watching others who are naked or having sex — to be one of the most common fetishes. Of course, as with every other fetish, engage in voyeurism consensually, for example at a sex party where a couple has given you permission to watch; watching someone without their permission is never acceptable. The flip side of voyeurism is exhibitionism, which means achieving sexual pleasure by allowing others to watch you. (A sex party is a great setting in which to do this, too.)
Butt plugs are typically used as a beginner friendly anal toy to help ease your way into anal play. Most often, butt plugs are used for training and stretching out your anal sphincter muscle. This allows you to get used to the new feeling or new sizes. Butt plugs can be used for short sessions, or even be left in for longer periods (of an hour or two). This is to help train your anal muscles to “loosen up”.
A butt plug can stay in its place during other play, if you are penetrating while getting your prostate massaged or enjoying some rimming, or even if you are going alone. The additional stimulation that a butt plug provides will help to maximize your orgasms.
The best way to use your butt plug may vary with your experience, and with the kind of stimulation you are seeking during play. One important thing you should keep in mind before use is that the anal canal is nothing like a vaginal canal—it can be a lot more delicate, and less easy to relax. Use as much lube as you need, and massage the outside of your anus. After that, dipping in a little when you feel more relaxed. When you can tell that your entire sphincter has relaxed and is ready to go, slowly insert your plug.
A butt plug is an intimate toy, and should be treated as such. If you enjoy using your butt plug ensure you get the most out of it by cleaning it between uses. Maintaining good hygiene and high-quality storage practices will not only increase the lifespan of your toy, it will also help prevent infection.
For anybody who is interested in butt play, we hope our Complete Guide has provide you with that little push you needed to grab a butt plug of your very own. We are sure that your new toy will help you to find new and exciting orgasms you could only previously dream of!
If you try to use a butt plug without use lubrication you can anticipate pain and uneasiness, and you may end up with lasting injuries. Friction is the least sexy thing you can bring into an anal play session, so make sure that whenever the butt plug comes out, the lube does too. Once you have a butt plug of an appropriate size and width, you should lubricate the outside of the rectum again, as well as the inside of the plug. The significance of lubrication in anal play cannot be overstated.