Let’s be frank here. All of us have certain kinks and quirks that make our clocks tick when it comes to sex. No matter how ordinary your neighbors Joe and Susan might appear, it’s safe to assume they love to get inventive between the sheets. And that’s fine. Sex isn’t just about procreation. It’s about satisfying our innermost desires and fantasies.
However, not all fetishes are socially acceptable, regardless of how progressive we’ve become as a society. This, unfortunately, leads to many issues, resulting in physical and mental issues. But it’s not just blue balls if you don’t have the guts to tell your unsuspecting partner that you’d want a foot massage as you’re into foot fetish. It can get much worse.
How Do We Commonly Satisfy Our Fetish?
Like we’ve said. Every person on this planet has a certain kink. Some keep them hidden due to insecurity or simply not discovering what makes them kick, while others are more open about their sex life. Either way, fetishes require satisfaction. Therefore, the logical question is — How do we do it? How do people go about their kinks and fetishes?
Well, there is no easy answer. We all do it in different ways. The majority of people simply watch specific porn that depicts what they long for. Be it age play, anal, or foot fetish, both men and women find it online and masturbate to it. This is a great way to go about your desires due to countless tube-like porn sites online.
However, some take things one step further. They participate in certain sexual behavior that brings them that extra pleasure that they are pursuing. For example, people who are into BDSM visit clubs that serve as places where bondage folks gather. They meet and hook up there, just like normies do in regular, lame nightclubs.
Where Do Fetishes Originate?
Despite common belief, fetishes aren’t something that we’re born with. Instead, we acquire them as we age and experience life around us. The whole idea is that we associate sexualized desire with objects and acts that we come across. For example, no role-playing man or woman is into it from the get-go. They find out that such sexual activity can provide them gratification, so they reenact it time after time.
Most fetishes come about during one’s formative years. As soon as you become sexually aware, you begin to notice things and associate sexual value with them. Hence, what you watch as a teen and jerk off to is what you’ll eventually long for in adulthood. As such, fetishes are a slippery slope. We might attach ourselves to certain acts, objects, or body parts that might prove too much for both our partners and us.
Due to social stigma and low self-esteem, many people tend to hide and repress their sexual fetishes. However, this eventually backfires. They themselves stray away from the object of their desire, but it only makes the whole thing even more attractive. It’s like that age-old tale of forbidden fruit. And as such, they all eventually ask for it when intimate with their partner.
But it’s not the asking that becomes problematic. That’s great. You should politely ask someone to accompany you in your sexual desires. The problem is when fetishes become excessive desires. In some extreme cases, people deprived of their sexual interest can go over the line and try to fulfill their desire with force, hurting other participants.
Isolation and Frustration
Another major issue that people who don’t accept and pursue their fetishes have is isolation. Due to not having actual sexual pleasure, they tend to stray away from intercourse completely. However, as they stop dating, another difficulty arises. Namely, sexual isolation leads to frustration, which is in itself another heavy issue to deal with. Being frustrated manifests in degraded private and professional life.
Of course, these two can work in a different timeline where frustration causes isolation. Either way, it’s bad, and it’s hard to deal with. Both can affect a person’s mental state, causing further issues like depression. Luckily, there is a way out, and it’s called sex therapy. Talking with people who specialize in sex problems can turn things around. You only need to make that first step — which is hard — and you can change your life for the better.
The major effects of unsatisfied fetishes are both private and professional. Namely, the emotional instability that arises without experiencing sexual pleasure the way you want to can make you unstable in social interaction and at work. The latter usually manifests in low attention spans and a lack of focus. This, unfortunately, leads to poor performance, which is in itself cause for another problem — getting fired.
When it comes to emotional instability and home-related issues, they can manifest in many ways. However, none are as frequent as being irritated quickly. And like most other difficulties that we’ve mentioned, not being able to keep your calm can open the gate to other problems. Most of them result in yelling at other people and, in extreme cases, even violent outbursts. All in all, emotional instability destroys relationships and individuals alike.
How to Avoid It
All of the above is enough to pursue your fetishes, regardless of what they might be. Of course, if they are extreme and even illegal, you shouldn’t push them aside. Instead, we suggest sex therapy as the only real way to solve any issues you might have that cross the line of acceptable.
Nevertheless, if your fetishes revolve around role-playing, anal sex, or feet, there’s a simple solution to it — watch porn. Nowadays, there are tons of specialized porn productions that revolve around all kinds of kinks, quirks, and fetishes. As such, you’re bound to find something that turns you on without having to persuade anyone into doing your will.
Of course, it’s not just porn that will help you avoid the dangers of unsatisfied fetishes. Going online and chatting with people on adult forums might help you find another person with the same fetish as you. Then again, there are sex toys as well. The adult industry has come so far that it’s easy to reach the shores of your favorite fetish even without an actual partner.